why do lesbians move so quickly?, by J. Kontozissi

why do lesbians move so quickly? quick to fall in love

to move in

quick to marry and to be sure of ourselves.

what is it with lesbians and u-haul trucks

diving in headfirst into a dating pool 3 feet deep

signing declarations of love with the adoption of a cat

and committing

like it’s our only chance.

 

why do lesbians move so quickly—maybe it’s because

we are afraid 

that one day we’re going to find ourselves

on our deathbed and have nothing to show for it. 

that one day we’re going to wish 

we stopped being so scared of our difference 

and kissed the girl. we are afraid of regret. afraid

of loneliness

and an unfulfilling life.

afraid that one day we’ll be old

and have an empty seat next to us. that this feeling of an empty stomach doesn’t ever go away

and that we will be forced to do our loving through windows 

and in doorways

our whole lives. 

 

that must be why

lesbians move so quickly.

quick to have our hands, our mouths, our hearts

all over each other

as if we’ll never meet another lesbian in our lives

so it doesn’t matter if you’re a little strange 

or ugly

or a bad kisser

because there are only so many of us to come by.

and at our core, people

are simple. cause and effect. people are made 

of one constant thing: the desire—the need—to be loved. 

and when you have spent an entire life waiting to be loved,

waiting for the tide to turn,

the slightest warmth

or quiver of the heart

feels like a dawn

and lesbians will do anything to keep it.